Family life is the main factor in the fulfillment of children and parents. It consists of family management, shared activities, and relationships between family members. While these can be sources of fulfillment, they can also lead to conflicts and tensions because the limits and needs of one can be disrupted by those of others.
Although Montessori creates training for educators, parents, often the subject of criticism, are left without guidance or instructions. School does not provide all of a child's education, nor should it. Are parents merely guardians, responsible only for providing clothing and food? Parents are not teachers, but at Merlinstruction, we believe that the home is the first place of life learning, before school, and that parents play a central role in preparing for adult life.
How does my child's participation in household life promote their inner development?
The family and home are the environments where children grow and learn to live together, thereby learning to function in society. Childhood is a time for play, exploration, questioning, and self-building. By involving your children in family life, you enable them to build themselves, feel capable, be involved, set their limits, understand their needs, and grow in relation to the realities of the world around them.
We often focus on visible or audible development stages, like walking, talking, holding objects, jumping, etc. However, we tend to overlook the child's internal development, which is the larger, unseen part of the iceberg. These advancements go almost unnoticed, leading to a tendency to give up on a child's efforts due to the discouragement of not seeing expected results. The home is primarily a place for learning from mistakes; children are not born with an innate sense for everything. Allowing them to make mistakes that help them grow also shows them how to correct their errors.
A child who feels competent is a confident child. A child feels competent when they can vacuum like mom and dad, cook with them and learn to use a sharp knife, especially because they know it's dangerous, or when dad shows them his work, etc.
What happens when a child does not participate in household life?
When children are not invited or encouraged or valued to participate in household life as a style of upbringing, they seem less concerned about what is happening around them and have less respect for the world around them. The child has not been able to experience the world around him for himself. The child does not experience his freedom and loses his sense of initiative. He is used to being assisted by his parent who takes the lead. He does not confront the limits of his own freedom, which he cannot help doing. Most of the time, the need to encounter his limits is postponed until adolescence.
The child is less aware of the value of things, of time, of a certain pre-existing order. He has more difficulty following instructions. He has less integrated the notion of safety, danger, and real risks, and therefore limits. He is less aware of his needs and limits, and does not understand why things happen as they do.
There is a lack of trust between the parent and the child. The parent does not perceive the child's potential and vice versa, the child does not perceive his own potential and that of his parent. The absence of participation can lead to a disconnection between the child and his environment.
What happens when a child participates in household life?
The involvement of children in domestic life is an important lever for their personal and social development. Firstly, it helps them understand and react appropriately in various situations, while encouraging discussions on alternative methods to accomplish household tasks. Secondly, it leads them to integrate norms by acquiring an understanding of family standards, valuing collective efforts, and learning to respect the limits and needs of others. Thirdly, it instills responsibility and autonomy by familiarizing them with daily responsibilities such as making their bed, helping to set the table, and cleaning up after a spill. Fourthly, they are encouraged to take initiatives and develop practical skills such as cooking and cleaning, while learning to follow precise instructions. Finally, by actively involving them, you develop mutual trust, recognize their potential, and prepare them to face various situations, which cultivates their maturity and autonomy. By treating your child as a growing individual, you establish an enriching and communicative environment, promoting honest interaction about everyone's needs and limits.
In conclusion, their participation in the household allows them to build their self-confidence, define their needs and limits, as well as those of others, to feel themselves grow, to gain self-esteem, to develop their autonomy, self-discipline, skills, and knowledge about the world around them, and to understand adult life with its realities.
However, this is beautiful in theory, but in practice, reality is often more complicated. Involving children is not a simple matter, and this is where our Family Book and Family Time tools come into play. We wanted tools that support family life, taking into account the relational scales of the couple on one hand, the children on the other, and finally, all together.
The Family Book accompanies parents in establishing together this new playground of parenthood on which they must now play and meet. The Family Time box is the logical continuation of the Family Book, since once the rules and values of the family home are defined between you, your family time is organized around logistics, activities, and participation in your community. For this, the box contains 5 supports, the Routine, the Weekly Planner, the Habit Tracker, the Annual Wall Calendar, and the Family Lifelines, entirely flexible, thanks to its activity cards that allow all family members to use them as simply as possible and in an intuitive way.